Sabbatismos
Testimony of Ane Edwards
I grew up in a very traditional, 3rd generation, loving SDA home. My parents were both very committed to the Lord. Most of my 47 years of existence has been lived in very conservative SDA communities. Ellen G. White (EGW) always played a major role in my life. I went through the church school system from 1st - 14th grades. My father worked for the church most of his adult life as did I, until I left Adventism in my early 40s.
Adventism and all of its rules, including the Sabbath, was NEVER a burden for me! I loved being SDA. So no one is more surprised than I that I left. I loved being a part of that community. I was an SDA poster child—a Pollyanna to the core. I obeyed everything to the best of my ability and from all outward appearances I was pretty good at it. I sincerely tried really hard to become righteous.
In my mid twenties, I slowly gave up trying . . . . That's the danger of teaching we have to attain perfection to be saved—eventually you begin to feel like it is hopeless, so you give up trying.
I knew I had never attained righteousness for one minute, let alone an entire day. And due to my SDA background, I knew that once the Investigative Judgment was completed, I would be expected to stand on my own righteousness, because at that point in time, EGW taught, Jesus would cease interceding for us.
Imagine my surprise as an adult to discover the assurance from Hebrews 7:25 that says Jesus will ALWAYS intercede for us, and that in Matthew 28:18-20 He also promised to be with us until the end of the age.
About 4-5 years into my marriage, I realized my husband, Greg, had a drinking problem. And by year 10 he was drinking deadly levels and began to spiral out of control, so I asked him to move out.
Eventually Greg was broken and he surrendered his will to God. He had quite a Damascus-road experience and came home wanting to make our marriage work. I let him return.
Greg began actively seeking a serious relationship with God. Most nights he lay in bed reading his Bible, constantly awaking me to tell me about something he had just read that contradicted what we had both been taught growing up SDA.
Greg wanted to go back to church. He began looking for someone to reconcile what he was reading in Scripture with what we'd been taught as SDAs. We'd go to Sabbath School and ask questions, only to have EGW trump Scripture.
We'd come home and talk about that and wondered how that was possible. We'd both been told our entire lives that we were always suppose to take Scripture above anything EGW said. But that was not what we were experiencing in church; she always trumped Scripture.
That really messed with our minds, and it was a very confusing time for us. After awhile we began to realize our questions were not welcomed, so we just shut up and threw ourselves back into church anyway. Greg became a Sabbath School teacher. It was amazing to watch him become this incredible spiritual leader. It really made me fall back in love with him.
What became really confusing to me was how every time I went to church I would sit there and fight this compulsion to jump up and run out of church. It confused me, because finally I had a husband that wanted to go to church and I just felt like leaving. I could not figure out why the compulsion existed. I truly was seeking after God and became convinced the enemy was trying to sabotage the incredible change that was taking place in my home.
During one of those services it got so bad I silently screamed out to God saying, "I don't know whose voice this is that makes me want to leave, but it just gets worse every week. So if it is not Your voice, then either make it go away, or if it is You, then make it be Greg's idea to leave. Because this just does not make any sense to me."
I said that prayer, cocky sure that would never happen because in spite of what I saw wrong with Adventism, I still mistakenly believed Adventism was still more "right" than anything else out there. And I knew how happy Greg was teaching his Sabbath School class. So I yelled that out to God, never expecting what was just about to happen. Two weeks later we were driving home from church and Greg said to me, "I'm sorry if you are not ready for this. I know we haven't discussed it, but today I told my class this would be my last Sabbath, that I would not be coming back. I can't sit there anymore and watch them trump Scripture with EGW."
Then he told me he wanted to go church shopping and look for somewhere else to attend. I about fell out of the car. I didn't see that coming and I wasn't ready for it at all. While it could not have been more clear God had just actually orchestrated that event, it just didn't make sense. The last thing I wanted to do was attend a church outside of Adventism.
Feeling like we had no other church options, we just gave up looking for fellowship and retreated into our own world of studying and reading our Bible. We really craved spiritual things. We began listening to Christian radio all the time. Our desire to pursue God just intensified, even though we had no place to fellowship.
All we really knew was that God had shown up in our lives and healed something really, really ugly. And all we wanted was more of Him.
Not long afterwards we moved out of our SDA community to a small acreage in the country. Our neighbors asked us to join their Friday night Bible study. That was my first real experience being outside of an SDA community.
Something pivotal happened one evening when the group began talking about the scapegoat from Lev. 16 as though it represented Christ. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out something about the scapegoat representing Satan. The group asked me why I thought that.
Suddenly I was flooded with embarrassment, because I actually didn’t know WHY I believed that. It just rose up and out of me like instinct. The group began to explain several reasons why such an interpretation was problematic. Two of the big problems for me were:
1. Lev. 16:10 says that atonement will be made on the scapegoat. Atonement is not made on or by Satan!
2. Lev. 16:21 says that Aaron laid his hands on the scapegoat’s head and confessed the sins of Israel over the scapegoat. We don’t confess our sins to Satan!
I went home feeling foolish for blurting that out, wondering where this idea that it represented Satan actually stemmed from, as I had no memory of being taught that. So the next day I asked my mom and my aunt who they thought the scapegoat represented. Without missing a beat both simultaneously said, “Satan.” I then realized that Adventism had taught me that.
I showed them why that was biblically problematic. That conversation ended with Mom deciding it was Satan, no matter what the Bible said. And my aunt decided it must represent both Satan and Christ simultaneously, because EGW can’t be wrong.
One of my next big pivotal discoveries was regarding the SDA teaching about Moses being raised from the dead. 1 Cor. 15 could not have been more clear that Jesus had to be the FIRST one raised from the dead, given a resurrection body, and taken to heaven.
Now I had evidence of 3 SDA teachings that were blatantly contradicting Scripture. The thing is NO ONE I talked to within Adventism cared! I was so certain someone would care, and no one did. They acted like I was making much to do about nothing.
When I realized how many of these contradictory teachings existed in the Clear Word (an SDA Bible paraphrase)—written right into the passage as though they were truths—that showed me how little the system itself cared about protecting Scripture, and I grew even more alarmed.
Another pivotal point for me was how I grew up believing we could never be sure of our salvation:
"Those who accept the Savior, however sincere their conversion, should never be taught to say or feel that they are saved" —Christ’s Object Lessons, pg. 155.
Imagine my surprise to discover 1 John 5:13 tells us God wants us to KNOW we have eternal life!
I soon began to realize that the Jesus of Scripture is not the same as the Jesus of Adventism. This is what eventually became the firm dividing wall between me and Adventism.
Following Jesus at all cost has been costly to me. I lost my job over it, I lost friends over it . . . but it has also been the most rewarding move I've ever made! I thank God for Jesus!
Ane Edwards, 2010
Print
Recommend this page